The more time I spend with words, the more I realize that they’re not just flat characters that live on the page (or the screen.)
Instead, words create three-dimensional objects and settings that can be viewed from different angles, perspectives, and through various lenses.
Translation: What you write might look/sound/feel one way to you, but could, in fact, come across totally different to your readers.
Always ask the turtle
This concept is sort of like this story I came across in Gloria Steinem’s book My Life on the Road:
I took a course in geology because I thought it was the easiest way of fulfilling a science requirement. One day the professor took us out into the Connecticut River Valley to show us the 'meander curves' of an age-old river.
I was paying no attention because I had walked up a dirt path and found a big turtle, about two feet across, on the muddy embankment of an asphalt road. I was sure it was going to crawl onto the road and be crushed by a car.
So with a lot of difficulty, I picked up the huge snapping turtle and slowly carried it down the road to the river.
Just as I had slipped it into the water and was watching it swim away, my geology professor came up behind me. "You know," he said quietly, "that turtle has probably spent a month crawling up the dirt path to lay its eggs in the mud on the side of the road—you have just put it back in the river."
I felt terrible. It took me many more years to realize that this parable taught me an important lesson: Always ask the turtle.
Personal lenses
This concept came up again when I was listening to the Tim Ferriss podcast a while ago. He had author and writing professor Mary Karr on, and I loved how she added experimental context to this idea.
On the first day of class, she has a fellow professor (male) come into her classroom and start a scuffle over who was supposed to be using that particular class space.
He says it’s his, she argues its hers. She makes sure to play the accommodating female role (keeps eyes down, doesn’t shout, tries to problem-solve), while the male professor plays aggressor (shouting, making a scene, and pointing.)
Once the male professor eventually leaves, Karr asks her students to write down a recount of what just unfolded in the classroom as a way to try and divert attention back to teaching.
When the students are done writing, she asks people to share what they’ve written out loud.
And guess what? Every single story is different.
Some people remembered the male professor as out of control, while others saw him as reasonably frustrated.
Some people recounted Karr as the aggressor.
Others recounted actions and words that were never actually said at all.
The point of this exercise is to expose these writers to this truth that everything (not just what we write about, but everything we experience during life) is interpreted through a personal lens that’s shaped by our own experiences, biases, and perceptions.
What this means for your writing: Watch for four-letter words
In our modern world, people are paying attention. They’re listening closely to what others say, write, and share. It’s more important than ever to be mindful of how our words may be perceived beyond our personal worldviews.
Nothing is one-sided; everyone filters and perceives things differently. (Tweet this)
We have to be careful about using four-letter words (and not ones that look like this: $^*!) that can often be a slippery slope. Why? Because they’re often subjective. Just because they’re true to you, it doesn’t mean they’ll be true to someone else.
These are four-letter words like:
Best
Most
Only
Real
True
Easy
Fair
Weak
Just
Sole
Pure
Rare
Good
The bottom line: Our culture is becoming increasingly sensitive when it comes to day-to-day communication.
Think about this fact before you send that tweet, push out that email, or launch that marketing campaign.
Ask yourself: How could someone else interpret this? Is there room for ambiguity?
If the answer is yes, you’re not done writing.
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