What if I told you it was possible to make readers like you within 10 seconds of reading?
You’d want to know how to do that, right? (I know I was like: “Um…sign me up!”)
It’s actually pretty easy to do. Here are four ways you can make this happen.
1. Make ‘em laugh
If a writer makes you laugh right off the bat, you’re going to like them. Why? It's science: Laughter cues an endorphin release in the brain. It also levels the playing field with the reader.
However, executing humor is a tough thing in writing; not everything that’s funny to you will be funny to someone else. So how do you write something that’s sure to make a reader internally chuckle, at the very least?
A few tactics I like to test out:
Quote funny people. If you’re not sure your personal humor will land, find a relevant quote from someone with a more widespread “funny” approval rating and tie it into your opening.
Poke fun at yourself. A little self-deprecating humor goes a long way. Exaggerate a scene. Never let the truth get in the way of a funny story. Hyperbole is your friend when you’re setting up funny context.
Keep the humor on the dry side. One of my favorite opening lines is by author Bill Bryson. He writes: “I come from Des Moines. Somebody had to.” (This ticks multiple boxes!)
It might take some workshopping to perfect a funny opening, but when you’ve got the kinks worked out, humor puts you in the fast lane to likeability. (There's a lesson on 'how to write funny' in my book, too.)
2. Share your (believable, relatable) flaws
Sharing our shortcomings, flaws, and insecurities (see also: failures) in our writing means that we’re both:
A) self-aware of our imperfections, and
B) willing to be vulnerable with readers.
When we’re honest and vulnerable, it helps readers see us as fellow flawed humans…rather than untouchable, “I’ve got it all figured out” superhumans.
Does this mean you should talk about trauma from deep-seeded family issues or be self-deprecating to a fault? Probably not. Instead, the flaws and imperfections you talk about should be both believable (so, nothing major or grandiose) as well as relatable (so, nothing tied only to your individual life experience.)
Strive for a middle ground when sharing flaws. Tell a story about a time you thought you were going to succeed, but ultimately failed. Talk about experiences with self-doubt, imposter syndrome, or times when obstacles knocked you flat on your face.
Being candid about flaws and failures puts you and the reader on the same page. It says, “Hey, I’m just like you. I mess up, I fall down…and guess what? I survived, and I learned from the experience.”
3. Spotlight your personal achievements (not your privileges)
The flipside of any “I failed” story is that the character usually makes it through to the other side, learns an important lesson, and ultimately leverages that experience to achieve something great.
Those are stories of personal achievements. They’re earned, and they have an instant likeable quality to them.
Privileges, however, come without work. They’re advantages or immunities only available to a particular person or group. Writers who spotlight their privileges (knowingly or not) alienate their readers. No one wants to read about your special treatment. It makes the reader feel less-than.
There’s a reason people love to root for the underdog; the person who had to sweat, get knocked down, and maybe even wiggle through some mud and barbed wire to finish the race. That person had to EARN it.
Readers are never going to cheer for the person who crossed the finish line in a limo, dirt-free, without breaking a sweat. Because quite frankly, that person sucks.
4. Embrace your quirks
Everybody has something that makes them a little weird. Most of the time, society tells us not to talk or write about those things. They diverge from the norm, so we’re taught to hide away our idiosyncrasies.
But guess what? Your “weird thing” is probably someone else’s “weird thing,” too. Think about some of the most beloved characters in literature: They’ve all got quirks! And that’s part of the reason we like them.
Don’t be afraid to spotlight your personal oddities in writing.
You know that feeling you get when you're reading something and you recognize a part of yourself in someone else's thoughts or experiences? That's a super special moment.
It's also a green light when it comes to getting readers to like you.
*The fail-safe*
If none of these strategies are working for you and you still don’t feel very likable in your writing, there is a fail-safe: Write about your pets.
67% of US households have a pet (more than two-thirds!) and people LOVE their animals. If you want to be likable to a mass swath of your readers, write about your pet. It rarely (if ever) fails.
